Review: WWE's Monday Night Raw

Before I begin my review of World Wrestling Entertainment’s Monday Night Raw, which visited the Wachovia Arena at Casey Plaza on October 5, please allow me to clarify two things.

No, I am not a die-hard fan. And yes, I know that wrestling is fake.

But when I had an extra $17.50 in my wallet and nothing better to do on a Monday night, I figured that I could get a couple cheap laughs out of watching grown men and women smash each other in the head with steel folding chairs.

Before the October 5 show, I had been to one previous WWE event. It was more than ten years ago.

The company was still known as the World Wrestling Federation, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was filming The Mummy Returns, and the building in which I saw the act no longer stands.

Imagine what it would be like to watch an episode of a television show, pay absolutely no attention to the program’s storyline for over a decade, and then sit down again to watch another episode of the show.

That’s exactly how I felt watching Raw.

I recognized three of the wrestlers, and the rest of the names, faces, and gimmicks were completely new to me. But even though I had nobody in particular to cheer for from my perch in Section 212, I still found the show enjoyable.

But was it worth the price of a ticket? Absolutely.

Being a part of a WWE crowd is an experience that I recommend everyone should have during their lives. The crowd consists of a very diverse mix of people who are all there to see what is essentially a live-action theatre performance.

During Monday’s show, I spotted an elderly couple, a teenage girl singing Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the U.S.A.," approximately 200 men wearing Ben Roethlisberger jerseys, and was constantly reminded by the six-year old child sitting next to me which wrestlers he thought were performing sub-par.

And that was before Raw even started.

Raw airs live on the USA Network from 9-11 p.m. on Mondays, but crowds at the arenas are treated to a couple of tune-up tussles prior to the broadcast. The show at the Wachovia Arena at Casey Plaza actually kicked off at 8:15 p.m.

When it finally came time for Raw, fans were treated to a ridiculous display of pyrotechnics that, surprisingly, didn’t set anything on fire.

Then, those 200 individuals wearing Big Ben jerseys got their money’s worth.

Roethlisberger, a two-time Super Bowl champion with the Pittsburgh Steelers, happened to be this week’s guest host. He emerged from underneath the massive video projection screen to issue his first decree of the evening.

Though he was greeted by a mixture of cheers and boos, he quickly endeared himself to the male population by ordering the female wrestlers to compete in a Diva Bowl.

Essentially, the 14 scantily-clad, attractive women just beat the crap out of each other. The winners? The audience.

By being the guest host, Roethlisberger was essentially given a “do whatever I want to and get away with it badge,” like the guy from Sector 7 in Transformers.

He forced the unwilling pair of the Big Show - who I am pretty sure is half-Paul Bunyan – and his partner Chris Jericho to fight the two members of D-Generation X in a tag team match.

When Jericho was about to lose the bout and tried to run away, Roethlisberger sent actual members of Pittsburgh’s offensive line onto the stage to stop the cowardly Jericho from leaving.

I’ve never seen someone so afraid of Pittsburgh’s offensive line. Great acting, Chris!

But in all seriousness, the emergence of the offensive line was a conveniently timed plot twist that gave the sold-out crowd a laugh.

The fans were clearly against Jericho’s team, and when Jericho returned to the ring, he was promptly beat down by D-Generation X.

When D-Generation X won, Roethlisberger and his offensive line joined them in the ring, and the group ended the show by making obscene gestures to the camera while fireworks exploded behind them.

It’s an ending that only the WWE can pull off, but not one that will be repeated. No two WWE shows are the same, so the next time Raw visits Northeast Pennsylvania, I recommend purchasing a ticket. The pyrotechnics at the beginning of the show are worth the price of admission alone.

I give the event a B. It would have been rated higher, but the fact that a former contestant on MTV's The Real World named “The Miz” is now one of the WWE Champions brings my rating down a full letter grade. Not even a small person dressed as a leprechaun can redeem the WWE for that.

And yes, the show did have such a character. His name was Hornswaggle.