Pajamas in public: just say no

There are certain things that are socially acceptable. Examples include greeting friends, greeting strangers and greeting no one. What do all of those things have in common? People are generally always wearing pants. Or a pants equivalent.

However, something that is not equivalent to pants, which people tend to consider equal, is the pajama pant.

Sure, pajamas cover your nudey parts. Sure, pajamas are comfortable and often quite decorative.

If you read my article hating on worst-dressed lists, you will know I am myself quite tolerant of people's chosen attire.

I do not care what you wear, so long as it is in the appropriate setting.

Everyone does or should agree with this. This is what I now and will always assume. Thus, everyone should then also understand that something meant and defined by being meant to be worn for the purpose of sleeping should only be worn for sleeping or directly before or after sleeping.

The above words could be considered beating around the bush. To be clear, what I mean is this: Do not wear pajamas in public. Please. Pretty please. With sugar and/or other appropriate toppings on top. I beg of you.

As above stated, pajamas are very comfortable. Having said this, all of your other pants should be comfortable enough to wear or they should not have been purchased.

Assuming they are then comfortable, you should have no problem wearing them instead of pajamas.

In case "other pants" is not specific enough, here are some examples: jeans, khakis, corduroys, dress slacks, overalls, coveralls, yes – even sweat pants are more acceptable to pajamas, though they are not preferred as a substitute. You have options, my sisters and brothers of Earth.

Assuming time is another issue and not just comfort, this begs a question, folks: How long does it take you to change pants? One, maybe two minutes? At best. One could argue it really takes more like 10 to 30 seconds. How can this possibly be too much time to take one thing off and replace it with another?

If style is your thing and you are wearing these garments meant for the Bordeaux as a means of self-expression, just don't do it. Do you know what wearing pajamas in public says about you? It says you are lazy. Or you are sleepwalking. If you are sleepwalking, you, of course, cannot help yourself. In this case, we all appreciate your wearing pants in the first place. If it is the former, just stop it. There is no justification for this. Saying you just love them so much is moot.

I understand they can be awesome. I have some super-fly pajama pants myself. The problem is, no one cares how much I love said super-fly Betty Boop Christmas-themed pajamas if I am wearing them in a public setting. No one would give two Boop-a-doops what would possess me to wear Ms. Boop as my preferred cartoon/Christmas pant theme in a place which wasn't a place I planned on sleeping. Mostly because I'd look like a moron.

Normally, I do not side with the rappers of today's society, but if your decision is between "them Apple Bottom jeans and boots with the fur, baggy sweat pants and them Reeboks with the straps" or some pajamas and any shoes, please, go with the former two.